One reason you should stop caring what people think about you is because no one else... 2. The real problem with caring what others think of you comes when you are more concerned with their reactions than your own self-assessment; or even worse, you don’t know what you think because you are so eager to please others. Your friends would probably feel like you don’t care about them. – Lao Tzu. They have to make smart, commercially successful decisions. Come, bring your sacrificial lamb to the altar. But the reason why you need to care: Is that we still play by the world’s rules. People who develop a negative self-image may need frequent reassurance that they are okay people. But notice where the accent falls: not on our value or our excellence or our virtue or our power and wisdom. Hold up, young grasshopper. You change the way you do things and you try to impress instead. As a writer, this is my biggest fear. It Will Bring You Down. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Everyone likes benefits, right? Why You Need To Stop Caring About What Other People Think They Are Wrong. And that would be the end of your travel before it`s even started. If you’re part of a fantastic writing community such as our very own Mythic Scribes, you’ll notice everyone sharing their own fresh-off-the-press lesson of the day. Realizing that your self-worth comes from within is an important part of learning not to care what others think. Their opinions of themselves then constantly change and become dependent on other people’s views of them or how they think other people perceive them. There is a saying that goes something like “in the eyes of a mother a donkey is a gazelle.” Your book is your child. They have to be shrewd. We are a community that celebrates the art and craft of fantasy writing. I’d also encourage writers to ensure they participate in critiquing. You don’t need to do anything to your darling because of peer pressure. Pin 88. Constantly worrying about what other people think of you or your actions causes nothing but mental and emotional stress. But actually doing something after you finish reading this article is a whole different thing. You have to help your cause by eliminating all the errors from your manuscript. It’s a baffling situation: You’ve been following all of the COVID-19 precautions, but, still, you somehow caught acold. You may be willing to accept upsetting someone important to you, but you will ultimately want to reconcile or transcend a particular problem. 1. Not caring about what others think is good for you, but it’s also very important to understand what you’re portraying to the world. Now I will admit, when it come to certain personal traits and characteristics, no you should not care what others think. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Step 5: Value Your Values If other people scoff at your values, ignore them. It’ll hurt more because it’s your first, your best, your most beloved that you’ve nurtured from a tiny idea to a great many-paged beast. Why should anyone have a say on the final outcome of your labors? There’s no reason why you cannot be yourself and hit your highest self just because of others. When strengthening your upper body, you don't have to get super fancy with the exercises. You know if you have offended, or endeared yourself, to people. It how to be a total BOSS basically (and a boss isn’t losing sleep over what other people think). You should not have to stay indoors just … If you google, "People that do not care what other people think," you get numerous lists, articles, blog posts, and what not about why you should not care what others think about you and your actions. or anxiety ("I have to get them to like me"). Anyways, if you care too much about what others think of you, you might never leave home for a great, adventurous long-term trip! How a writer can distinguish between the two is just as important a skill as the writing process itself. Earlier in my writing career it would have devestated me. Seats will go fast, so claim yours here! They have a finite resource, money, and can only endure so many failures before all that green dries up and they are left a barren wasteland. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. They believe that this makes them a weak person. All rights reserved. The solution is simple. They can reach inside for their reassurance – but even this is usually based on early experiences in the world that gave them a solid sense of themselves. So, caring about what they think can help you navigate and maintain valued relationships. The truth is, people are idiots. Worry about yourself today. That can only be determined if you’re exposed to the ideas and you apply your critical mind to them. You’re ready for the big time. "What Do You Care What Other People Think? To do otherwise would be to only care for their material needs, but what is love and friendship but a connection at a much deeper level? If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately. To begin with, people are social by nature. Why You Should Care What Others Think. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. Stop caring about what other people think and actively live your life. The plot is bulletproof. People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are entitled to think what you want. The more you give your life to the opinions of others, the more you lose yourself. There are two techniques that have alleviated my worry about what others think of me. Our mind fills every gap, polishes every rough spot, explains every point of unwritten background information to make your work of art, well, a work of art. Fortunately by then I had enough experience to know trash from treasure. Dr. Becker-Phelps is a licensed psychologist in NJ and NY, and is on staff at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital, Somerset. They believe that this makes them a weak person. You may also have trouble at work, especially if your job involves interacting with people. If all your happiness is wrapped up in the … So true! After all, self-care is the best kind of care that you can give. Caring about those connections inherently involves caring about what those people think. But since we can completely control what we think of ourselves, we must think well of ourselves. Screeners will often make a judgment on the viability of a manuscript from the first few pages. Stop caring what others think and do what makes you happy. There’s freedom in being true to yourself and not caring about what other people think. In middle school and high school you were trying to fit in and be popular. But don’t take it personally. Don’t let others control you. Peer review’s entire purpose is to expose every weakness in your story. First, others will naturally like you more when you are kind and considerate; so, you won’t need to worry as much about what others think of you. Many of my patients feel bad for worrying so much about what others think of them. In any given situation, it’s important for you to know your own mind. You’ve poured weeks into a story only for a person to tear it apart with no consideration to what you’ve invested into the product. When I only do what others want me to do, I feel cowardly inside, like a doormat. You deserve to have people around you who love and admire you for who you are instead of who you are trying to be. The keys are to choose weights and exercises that challenge you. 3. I understand the fear. Fresh sets of eyes will interpret your story from new angles. Tweet. What if you did whatever you wanted regardless of how it affected others? Instead of being genuine and expressing who you are you put on a facade. She also uses paid beta readers in the hope of getting better feedback and to keep the relationship professional. And criticisms are just one persons’ opinion…..take it with a grain of salt. Tension is present. What was the harshest, but beneficial, feedback you’ve received? There are plenty of other things you need to be worrying about, and this isn’t one of them. So I should care as much about what I think about myself as what I think about others. When you struggle to make peace with who you are, you also become more susceptible to the opinions of others. There’s lots of lessons to be learned about ones own writing when critiquing the writing of others. You stopped doing things because others made comments about you or it just wasn’t “normal”. Why do we care so much what others think? The how is up to you. So, you’ve completed your manuscript. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment. They tore it to pieces. Pacing is solid. Entries for the Relationships blog are for general educational purposes only. But for me, nothing else has helped me move forward as a writer. All this for the exorbitant rate of doing for others what they’re doing for you, aka free. What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. It’ll hurt, I know. Do you like brutal, cold honesty or the compliment sandwich? Those honest friends who will give you the straight truth are so valuable. When you’re self-conscious of what others think of you, you’re conveying to the world that their opinion of you is more important than your opinion of yourself. No matter much you deny it, your book is flawed, stubborn, and ugly. It’s like a diary of your imagination. Unfortunately, the wider audience doesn’t have your imagination downloaded to their e-reader. We thrive when we get along with others, and think and act independently at the same time. Children don’t come into this world with a fully formed sense of themselves and other people, but rather develop this as their experiences in the world accumulate. Blogs are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. So, you’ve completed your manuscript. It’s Not Their Life, So It’s None Of Their Business. The advise is good even for people who are planning to self publish seriously. Other benefits include grammar corrections, interest generated, dynamism of character(s), and pacing feedback. ": Further Adventures of a Curious Character (1988) is a book written by Ralph Leighton with the authorization of Richard Feynman.It is the second of two books consisting of transcribed and edited oral reminiscences from Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman.It follows Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! Constructive criticism is really the best way to fix issues with your writing. The best answer I can give you is to never reply to a critic at the time of the critique. And, unlike my opening, you’re writing is mostly active. So be it. A lack of self-acceptance also means you are more likely to search for acceptance in others, leading you to care far too deeply about what they think about you. In fact, it’s a good thing. But it’s important to note that even these people care about what others think of them; they just don’t let it dominate their self-perceptions. And, unlike my opening, you’re writing is mostly active. Some accept these ideas, some don’t. She is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. Your mind is going in so many different directions that it can cause you to just stall in anxiety. We live in a world where there is constant pressure to be the “perfect” person. That’s not to say that the author and I won’t work on it to make it even better, but if we’re buying something, it’s because we really dig it as it is.”. Let the masses enjoy the bloodletting. If you’re treading the path of traditional publishing, you’ll want to put your best foot forward. They learn to see themselves as they perceive that significant others (such as their parents) see them. Let’s do this! What if you didn’t care about what other people thought of you? It is very difficult to be entirely objective in editing your own work and one can always use a little help in that regard. And our lives are to display his truth and beauty. I committed to practicing that strategy and here are 10 things I’ve discovered. The number one rule of criticism club is that all criticism is trash unless it’s treasure. The ultimate truth is that is absolutely okay – even beneficial – to be aware of and care about others’ reactions to you … so long as you don’t lose sight of yourself. They need to understand your story from the words themselves. Just accept what was said, write down notes to fully understand the person’s intent, and sit on it for a time. The plot is bulletproof. Your peers will reveal to you where the words fell off and your imagination picked up. Peer review is one step to doing so. If you care about mastering your life, getting rid of your to-do list, and blocking out distractions, this is for you. Another way to think about whether what others think “should” matter is to consider the alternative. If you don’t get something done, or if you let someone down, the sun will still rise again tomorrow. There isn't much time left for most to think of others Given that literally 3/4 th of most people’s life is spent in maintaining the human pet, there isn't much left after pursuing career and hobbies to think of others. Being aware of others’ reactions provides you with information about the state of your relationships. Despite what may be said about publishers, not all evil corporations are bent on beating authors into submission. Knowing that the part you play in the world is not crucial to its existence is a very liberating thing. And when you lose yourself, you won’t be happy in living your life. We invite you to. 1. WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Criticism is hard, to get and to give, sometimes. Don’t fret! We’ve all heard that saying- when you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for eve… Regardless, ideas shift between peers. Have a few close people you can … This is your life to live. YES! 10 Quotes That Will Make You Stop Caring What Others Think. You need to understand the concept of face value. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You’re biased. Excellent article. The amount of time is up to you, however long it takes to become emotionally detached from the critique. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Share 67. Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments. But if you think you do place too much value trying to please others, then it’s time to turn the focus on strengthening your sense of self. Let’s talk benefits. Personally I am happy to take my criticism straight. But the reality is that there are good reasons for caring what others think. Does anyone have any ideas on how to curb that and accept the criticism as constructive? There are two reasons why. Ready to submit your work to agents or publishers, or both. By maintaining a healthy lifestyle, even with the many stresses of the pandemic, you can find meaning and happiness in your life. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Love demands it. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you have multiple partners and the same concern is highlighted, you can be more confident in the need to address the problem. You learn this as you go through life. You’re you. Here are 7 reasons why you should not care what others think. We all want to be attracted by our many talents, our ferocious wisdom, our kind nature, our shining personality.But when we start to rely on what other people think of us, and their views are critical to our success, we are in trouble. So I got useful feedback from the process. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. Up to now, this has been an interesting reflection into why humans care so much what other people think, why that’s bad, how it’s a problem in your life, and why there’s no good reason it should continue to plague you. One thing a writer needs to accept is that all criticism is important, but not all is right. Rein in your enthusiasm and place it on this bed of nails called criticism. Not that my feelings will get hurt by criticism, but the fact that I don’t handle criticism well and become rather sarcastic and verbally hurtful in return. 1. Everything is clean. However, it is important to trust a select few to share their opinions with you, or people you can go to when you need to talk. In such a case, it’s not so much a story as it is a complex thought applied to a private medium. If you aren't doing both, you're out of balance, and your psyche will complain about it with either depression ("No one likes me.") Putting things into perspective can help you to stop caring so much. The first time I took some of my writing to my new writing group I thought it was in pretty good shape. You’re ready for the big time. Super successful people do not worry what their critics have to say, good or bad. I don't like that feeling, even if others do approve of me. She accomplishes this through her work as a psychotherapist, speaker and writer. Caring about whether people like us is exhausting. Others with a more positive self-image may only need assurance during difficult times that trigger them to doubt themselves. Remember, you only have one life to live, so make it a good one. If you don’t accept yourself it is going to be very hard for you to feel accepted by others. Join writing groups, don’t defend your work, and weigh every opinion offered against each other (assuming you receive more than one feedback). As a self-publisher, I don’t have the same worries as those going the traditional route…..but I do make sure I get it out and get the opinion of others so I can tweak it or make whatever revisions I need to. I have several people I let read my work just so they can point out plot holes. Whether you are a waitress, banker, or teacher, your work would probably suffer. You are the only one who can determine whether another’s treasure is your trash, or if someone’s trash is your treasure. They’re not bogged down by all the emotional investments and the writer’s narrative mind. Then there are the fortunate people who have an uncanny ability to feel self-assured in even the most difficult circumstances. The only time a story should never generate opinion, other than your own, is when it is only read by you. This feels more like balance. Such lessons, philosophies, concepts, practices are submitted to the wider audience and pulverized to their basic, fundamental truths. Many of my patients feel bad for worrying so much about what others think of them. 155 Shares. Tension is present. Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner. It will sabotage your plans and progress by Kassan Warrad. Before learning how not to care what people think, let’s see why do we care so much about the opinion of others. 1.You have to look in the mirror. If the consensus is fall in line against an item, there is an issue you must address. People who are constantly worrying what people think about them have some type of insecurity and are trying to use other people as a means of boosting their self worth. Should you also happen to pick up a few acquaintances from such awesome sites and create a writing group, those ideas will find their way to your story by way of criticism. Pacing is solid. Between our family, friends, work and school peers, we interact with many different kinds of people, all with different ideas of who we should be. Ready to submit your work to agents or publishers, or both. One way to boost your confidence and get a better sense of your self-worth is to list positive characteristics about yourself. When writing a story, and submitting it to many revisions, we tend to blur the lines between the narration in our head and what’s on paper. But the reality … Most of them are in pretty good shape! “The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf “A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West “You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. Everything is clean. Smart Grocery Shopping When You Have Diabetes, Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Dogs and Cats, Coronavirus in Context: Interviews With Experts, Sign Up to Receive Our Free Coroanvirus Newsletter. If we truly care about others we cannot avoid caring about their thoughts and feelings. And that’s only to get past a screener. The story has to hook them in, the grammar has to be below notice, and the writing has to be solid. You deserve to discover who you truly are, and show that incredible person to the world. It’s time to get feedback from people whose writing style/genre preference doesn’t match your own, from peers who are far behind you in terms of publishing, from people who are not interested in creating a masterpiece of the same magnitude as your own. Discover four questions that can help you determine whether or not you should distance yourself from your family. © 2005 - 2019 WebMD LLC. In general, you should be able to say what you think without worrying about the impression you are making. You might want to read 11 Useful Tips on Setting Goals and Achieving Them.) Other people don't know you. People are … The most successful writers I know “embrace criticism”, it makes them stronger. After all, a lot of the time someone's feelings about us are out of our control. Important: The opinions expressed in WebMD Blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. Even the most independent person is significantly affected by others’ reactions to them. Caring what other people think can cause you to make a terrible impression on others. What is your technique in giving criticism. They give you the truth, as it would be perceived by the public at large. Maybe I've been caring too much about what others think about me. One of the biggest hurdles to get over from a young age that extends into your adult life is caring what other people think. As long as you’re doing what you love, no matter the vocation, there will always be those Negative Nancys……. She is the author of Bouncing Back from Rejection and Insecure in Love. (If you don’t have any explicit goals, that might be why you’re prone to worrying about what other people think – because you don’t have your own plan for your life. That is exactly why a alpha/beta reader is so important. So we must care what others think of us as representative of Christ. Criticism, whether harsh or soft will help an author’s manuscript to become clearer, tighter, better. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Your Bones Are Showing: Too Little Story, Too Many Problems, Dark Lord Darkington Darkingly — How to Avoid the Dark Lord Cliché, How To Make A Species With Limited Empathy And Apathy Relatable, The 10 Best Fantasy Movies – and Why They Rock. Criticism balanced with understanding of what was critiqued and your intent, ensures a better manuscript than what you’ve had before. I was speaking to a very successful self published author recently and she hires a copy, line and developmental editor to get her work ready to publish. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional. Do not consider WebMD Blogs as medical advice. Like you mentioned – what’s in your head doesn’t always translate to paper. If you don’t, then it’s important to begin spending some time reflecting on your experiences, thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. When a man acts in manner that neglects or harms his wife’s feelings and thoughts we call him a cad. In a recent Reddit AMA Mike Braff, an editor for Del Rey, had this to say about works submitted to his company: “Generally, when we acquire a new title, it’s already been workshopped by the author, their beta readers, and the agent. Publishers are inundated with submissions. It falls on whether Christ is honored by the way people think … All of these benefits will help your story, especially if you’re of the mind to climb Mount Trad Pub. You started doing things just because others were. We should make our opinion of ourselves more important than the opinion of others! This is the exact attitude a writer should have when they want to push their craft further. Caring about what others think infiltrates ordinary, everyday aspects of our lives, whether it may be tending to our physical appearance, making certain life choices, or … This begins early in life, as people learn who they are through the eyes of others.
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