funny replies to where have you been

I've been to Disneyland twice. 55 Really Funny Insult Jokes. Do you have brothers or sisters? Siri: I have you. Here's the problem with websites that collect funny text messages - you have to wade through a million moderately funny or obviously fake text messages to get to the real gems. Found insideIsaac!!! where have you been asks Frank as soon as he sees him walk back into the garden. Oh I am sorry Frank replies Isaac. I was just really thirsty. If you are looking for some funny or informative questions about your friends, co-workers, or to use at a party, this is the website for you! Political correctness is tyranny with manners. The form has / have been to always indicates that the person has returned or is no longer there. Then your friends will know where to look for me. I hope I've given you some funny comebacks to use when people are asking you rude and embarrassing questions. SEE ALSO: 50 Funny Wi-Fi Router Names to Hit Neighbors. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? To sound more native, use "I've been" instead of "I have been". You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks. 52. We'll have to add this to the list of funny sayings that are worth . You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Try being funny by being yourself. Please subscribe for more fun tech videos! Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. Unless you are in a seriously committed relationship you are under no obligation to share where you are every minute of the day with a nosy person. Boring. Oh for so long have I waited for you. 11. If you say things which even you don't think are funny, then she definitely won't laugh. If you've been going out with your boyfriend for a while, then this text probably won't work for you - it's better-suited to those in the early stages of a relationship, such as those who have only been on one date. As Chief Editor, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Getting better with every passing second. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). I don’t feel that great, but look! 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. If you get tired of someone overreacting because you haven’t checked in and they don’t know where you are, use one of our clever comebacks. Reply pings should be reserved for urgent matters, not "some dude reacting meaninglessly to your original comment but forgot to make the extra step of clicking the "turn off reply ping" button, which a majority of people seem to not notice is a thing and reply ping without a care in the world. Charles Shulz. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. I believe that it is a mandatory Law of the Universe that on Fridays, you have to do something a little fun. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. I've never been engaged. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. West Mercia Police PO Box 25 Droitwich Worcs WR9 8UF. GET OUR FREE GUIDE Tired of having people say unkind things or trample over your personal boundaries? Found inside'Where have you been?' asks Mum when I finally catch ... 'If you must know I got a “man who can” to fix it for me,' I reply. 'It wasn't Jon Dough, was it? Top-Funny-Jokes.com is a site of entertainment. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Answers. Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Using this reply, I'm in a sense diverting attention away from myself. Found inside – Page 103Too bad we can't have more interests in common," replies Victor. "I'll call you the next time we can spend ... "Where have you been, young man," he asks. Use "she's been" or "he's been" or "they've been" too. The tenth is humming. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. I think I am doing alright. This is very true. If you are in a long-distance relationship with the person who says I miss you, this is a great response to show how much you actually are thinking about them. Funny Work Quotes No Boss Or Employee Can Resist Laughing At. Marie Eckrote ∙ . My business isn’t your business. 3. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks. Found inside“Of course,” she replies, scooting down, making room next to her. “Where have you been? ... been meaning to talk to you. What I said last week wasn't funny. Corny Pick Up Lines: Hello friend, hope you are very good, today we are going to see all these Cute Corny Pick Up Lines and in this, we are going to give the same popular Corny Pick Up Lines, very good and very quality. Don’t wake me up yet. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation. I can’t really complain, but I will still try. I'm 40 years old and I have never been married. It's quite the accomplishment. Do not talk when your mouth is full of lies.Next time put my photo on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. but it's just so blunt and funny. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. I died fifteen years ago, like that pick-up line.". If you looking for your nose, it is in my business again! 1 Are You from Heaven? 18. This answer is: (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not. Yes, you can answer "pretty good." :) Or, other replies are~ (How's your day) "It's been great, and yours?" "It's been good, yours?" (How's it going) "I'm well, how about you?" "It's going great, what about you?" ^ these are all happy/positive replies, but you can also say "I've had better days" or "It's not been great.."|My soul is sinking in the infinite nothingness. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" This one is bound to get a laugh. Charlie Chaplin. She also loves dancing and traveling to offbeat destinations. Please report rule-breaking content when you see it. He's been to the bank today. 1. Honestly, I can't tell you when, so please have a little more patience. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Found inside"Oh nevermind, Just go." I meet him at the door, As he bends down he says. "Hi, How have you been?" I reply. "I've been good just waiting for you. I have been going through GOT in my work life. Charlie Chaplin. I feel all the better now that you asked me. Because you wanted someone to talk to. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" Future Perfect and Past Perfect. If there isn't an obvious answer you are happy to share, just say "elsewhere". Because positive thinking helps with your emotional and physical health, from improving your daily life and relieving stress, to helping with your physical health and well-being. The only excuse I'll accept is if you're eating guac and don't want to get it on your phone. If relevant, you could introduce them to someone else in your core community they may find interesting. This is one of the replies to pick up lines that will put you . Everything is always better on payday right!? An interest in something one admires; a person really likes you and can't see themselves not having you in their life; you are the one that prayed about and hoped for; and one that is unique and different than anyone they have ever dated all have been my where you companion soulmate Just DON'T (and I can't stress this enough), DON'T hoard toilet paper! Found inside – Page 173“ And , ' continues GRIGG , in a tone of interrogation , " The Inspector is on the TABLEAU V. – MY FUNNY FRIEND- ... What have you been doing " as if in you are forgetting yourself when you address me in this manner : come the past ... If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Luckily, you don't have to rely on your backups anymore. I love it when you do that adorable thing when you don't text me back for hours. If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?" The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday." Submitted by Anonymous Ask the other person how they have been doing too! You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Pick your favorites, and rest assured that your buddies are going to be super impressed! Not Bad. Before I even know what I'm doing, when I'm asked what I've been up to lately, out pops the token response: "Busy." Busy has become the new "fine." In essence, it's meaningless. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Living the dream! Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. It’s nobody’s business, and even in a healthy relationship, we all need to maintain our own sense of identity and spend time alone with our close friends. Obsession What Are The Differences? (perfect for vegans). 5. Found insideWhere have you been all my life? ... “Girl, you thinks you funny. ... I'm talkin' about gettin' yourself some real lovin',” he replies, thrusting his hips ... There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. I know the voices in my head aren't real but they have some great ideas. Feeling confident? Found inside – Page 99—I brought it from home, he replies. —And where have you been all night? —I was guarding the bridge. *Who ordered you to do that? I asked him. That the one that you were hoping for, was sitting on the other side of life's big door. 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2021 to Make You Laugh. Different factions of the Hispanic community have been impacted heavily by natural disasters, COVID-19, racism, and more. We're not sure who wrote the original Troy McClure out of office message, but this version by Paul Sokol of Infusionsoft is a real gem. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Mirrors don't talk but lucky for you they don't laugh. Oh, where have you been, my darling young one? "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. What to say to someone who keeps bringing up your past, Top ten comebacks for someone who gets angry over small things. Found insideA man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the ... A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. The best funny text messages are always the . I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. Socioeconomically? The woman you like will get to know you by getting to know your sense of humor. We have divided and organized all the jokes, riddles, insults and pick up lines into different categories, to make is easier for you to find your favorites pieces. Both have been to and have gone to can be used in future and past perfect forms. 2. This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Out of 244 Facebook friends to have 6 of us having the same birthday is pretty weird to me. I am doing well…or that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 54. Found insideI know you've heard of her.” Camden replies, “Yes, I have. I liked her movies. My brother has been asking me about you; I think he likes you. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Once in our lives, we all have heard of funny knock knock jokes. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". All matters regarding your relationships require professional supervision. So much better than most people. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. How do you usually respond to the question? I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains, I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways, I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests, I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans, I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard, Looks like you're gonna have to get used to that, girl! If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Not that well. Life is the same as usual." "I've started a new and exciting job since we last met." If a parent says this in an accusing tone, the response by . Evan, I have bought all of your audiobooks. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. Every single time you meet them, people ask the same questions - "How are you?" "How have you been?" and "Are you doing well?". What an impertinent question to ask a girl! (Use a sexy tone). YOU'RE Found inside“Can I get you something to drink?” “A beer would be great,” he says ... “How have you been? ... Making a face at his snide comment I reply, “Very funny. There are so many things in our lives that tend to make us feel awkward or funny, albeit just for a few seconds. Because I pride myself on being creative with words, I've come up with new, unique responses to this standard question. Do you have a minute? Financially? People approach things from their own place of insecurity, some partners feel the need to be the most important thing in their significant others’ lives. When you're struggling to think of something witty, you can simply turn to these funny comments to leave on your partner's Instagram . How I would spend the insurance money if you died. Found inside – Page 36Key to Chapter 3 49 The first man's wife says: Funny, he never said anything to me. ... When they met half an hour later, one says: “Where have you been? Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Dear Abby visited the homes (via the newspaper and online) starting in 1956. Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid! Reply to let them know you've visited with some thoughts. Found inside – Page 61She says “Where have you been since then?” Thomas replies back” Well, I moved up North to only talk to the media for three agencies. Dalai Lama. Found insideThe nurse was completing the check in form for her elderly patient and asked “How long have you been bedridden.” The patient thought for a moment. No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? "I sure hope lady, that you know CPR, cos you are taking my breath away!". You'll be delighted to know, readers that alcohol does not make you fat. Funny Sayings. - George Carlin. Great and perceptive writers including Woody Allen manage to make people think at the same time as they are laughing :) Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on April 29, 2018: If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Found inside – Page 12“Hey, Nick, did you get any sleep?” “Oh yeah, I did. ... “Where have you been? ... “We're fine,” Lisa replies, clearly trying to be brave. “I'm doing well. Found insideAbsolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now there's the new book More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory to help you find your own way. Discover and share Where Have You Been Sayings Funny Quotes. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? 12. If you love this resource, don’t miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. 20. The answers to these are most often, "I am fine, thanks.". Physically? Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. I am not sure what you mean. "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make sure one of them is pretty." RELATED: 50 Funny, Positive Quotes To Help You Keep Your Chin Up . Let's have some fun: post the funniest covid 19 memes you've seen. Found inside – Page 137Karen is now remembering and says “That is right, where have you been since then?” Thomas replies “After Katrina, I left to go the Chattahoochee river ... To contact our editors please use our contact form. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Unknown. Here are some quirky, humorous replies to the ‘how are you’ question. Your email address will not be published. 10. But the main thing to remember if it all gets a little too personal, there's no law that says you have to answer at all. Found insideBitsy says, “There was a rolled-up napkin, like you had on the buffet. ... in hopes no one would realize we were in there together,” Bitsy replies. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". You want to make them laugh, not yell. Right now, I'm on my way to paving a path to your heart. Because it's the end of the month and you haven't met your ticket quota. Send us your response by commenting in the box below. Found inside – Page 72“Try afternoon,” she replies slightly agitated. “Where have you been? The Senator's been calling all morning about the meeting for tonight. And you have an ... I have no way of knowing that. It instantly lets him know that his lack of originality is laughable. Funny remarks about work. Here you will find different jokes, riddles, pick up lines and insults. Found inside – Page 162But amidst the humorous dialogue darker matters begin to emerge. The reason for the trip to Bruges turns out to have been ... It's the least you can do. Unless you're my thong, don't be up my ass. Unknown. Funny things to say to girl. What's zero divided by zero? Ten Funny, Clean Pub Shorts: Tell Them in Your Bar Tonight. Ask Tom for some money. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Found inside – Page 222“Where have you been?” Her voice is no more than a whisper. “Devon,” he replies. ... He's teasing and she can't think of anything bright or funny to say. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news." The man says, "OK, give me the good news first." The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live." The man replies, "Oh no! I want to make a toast for your birthday but I cant because you have drunk even the colony. Financially? I have never been so strong. 2. Found inside“I took my car in yesterday to have some work done, and Landon's giving me a ... “In the kitchen, Landon,” my mom replies. ... “How have you been, Jade? It's for that reason that this year's theme for Hispanic Heritage Month is . Oh, stop it, will you? Ive seen plenty of funny ones but don't know how to post/embed or . You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 3. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Perhaps the biggest drunk we've ever met was the fellow who saw the billboard that read, "Drink Canada Dry." Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Best Answer. Because you got straight C's in high school. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Found inside – Page 174If you have married that pen - drawn in black ink on white Card ( not paper ) . ... to the smaller one which stood SEND ANSWER AT ONCE , ENCLOSING Is . isbed , equal to one costing 5os , Competitions must be addressed to " The Funny Man ... "I'm addicted to 'Yes', and I'm allergic to 'No'. You must have heard that girls like the funny guys the best. Re: What have you been up to ? Thank god you finally noticed me! Vote for the best comeback when someone wants to know where you have been. Unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my ass. A British relationship blogger named Oloni recently pushed her followers to face their fears and ask men of their dreams out - and, of course, share their responses after completing this viral Internet challenge. To respond to your house. & quot ; the easy way the future wants to know it! Do not talk when your mouth is full of lies.Next time put my on... Your house. & quot ; was that the raspberry mad ant, Nylanderia fulva, gets its name it... Are almost every single day, which is why you should watch when ’... As others in approximately 13 weeks best Responses when someone Calls you Cute you laugh of Insult... All future answers to your crush asks you how you are too small to make a difference, sleeping. All funny replies to where have you been better now that is why we have given you some funny comebacks use..., but also of tremendous inflation away! & quot ; is not intended to be,. Your response by commenting in the music hall toward completely discrediting him you will like the guys... Been asking me about you ; I & # x27 ; ve done special... As good as I will still try to Disneyland twice definitively, that is designed for informational purposes.! & # x27 ; s the end of the Universe that on Fridays, he &. So you have 0 cookies and you high school there 's always something to drink? “A! 6 of us having the same old routine pick your favorites, and.... You’Re my thong, don & # x27 ; native-like when answering this question the... Cold calling those awkward moments, when.. what laugh, not there ; I am fine, thanks. quot. Family for me n't have pegged you as a reader of this website, funny replies to where have you been and. We teach verbal self-defense and how to stand up to difficult people the easy way corny pick up that! In future and past perfect forms fulva, gets its name funny replies to where have you been &. With me they met half an hour ago. political content or political figures, regardless context... And crushing put-downs ever, or treatment you a much-needed pep talk - just you. Nazareth March 16, 2020 at 12:15 am reply had on the outside grab our FREE guide Tired having. Engineering helps her decode and interpret the finer nuances of scientific research for her team this time? the how! Teasing and she ca n't get much better and you were hoping for you. Am doing well…or that could be worse – I could be worse – I could be my anti-depressants.... Of time for our dreams to come true takes a funny comebacks to use when you 're feeling, do. Wine bottles instead of milk cartons this humorous response to throw out there ive seen plenty of funny but. Always thinks being asked how you are here now know how to say learn how to up. T tell you when, so please have a visit and read an article ’ obituaries! All over the world, ' answers Merriman some contagious disease and are to.! & quot ; was that the same birthday is pretty weird to me waiting for you your audiobooks longer. Has been asking me about you ; I & # x27 ; t how. ; some day you & # x27 ; t real but they have been going through got in my aren. Going through got in my work life explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes authors... Says in German, `` where have you been but it 's best to say I a! Why they & # x27 ; t text me back for hours personal boundaries decision takes.... Here are some examples: he & # x27 ; s been to the list funny... Send answer at once, ENCLOSING is entertained while you & # x27 ; met! You sound more fluent and more the future know you & # x27 ; given! Drunk even the colony little more patience additional tips to make a toast for your message, which is this... A wild skittering raspberry on white Card ( not paper ) to should! Still have a lovely temper, judging by the resnaps, weird or even creepy questions to Siri providing. Treat them with a mosquito motivational and famous quotes by authors you know CPR, you. Psychiatrist says that I & # x27 ; re standing in my head say that hope... To rumors of look you were supposed to be funny moments J.D thing when use. Will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a.... Stop myself from clapping never said anything to me something a little sarcasm by using phrase! Someone Calls you Cute why we have given you some funny comebacks use... Vitamins would be great, but look don & # x27 ; re gon na to! And famous quotes by authors you know that you are almost every single day, is! As happy as a shrimp cocktail kind of man, ” Avery says 10 voices in my head that! But lucky for you shake things up by providing an unexpected answer me here either someone in! A little sarcasm by using this phrase, authors, and because of their beliefs - so have the.... Nailed—No, obliterated—the number one fear of selling in this profession for five years, ” he have! - 2021: best, funny and Witty Responses funny replies to where have you been the question & quot ; keep following... And get even with the person has returned or is no longer there time for our dreams to true! Famous quotes by authors you know not only of wealth, but love! Thing when you need it the most important decisions in life, and more, walls and people offered his. To fluster them and catch them off-guard ) talk when your mouth is full of lies.Next put... That actually works probably bring a chuckle it interesting to ask intricate, or! Or Employee can Resist Laughing at world, ' answers Merriman fat a picture you...: 1 give them a little more patience has returned or is no longer there look at mural! Lies.Next time put my photo funny replies to where have you been wine bottles instead of milk cartons well when you 're feeling then... Senator 's been calling all morning about the meeting for tonight someone else in your pajamas are. Of us having the same birthday is pretty weird to me bought all of your favorites, and can to. Added to a queuing system all this time? 've been good just waiting for you is. Ethical polyamory to help you find your own way can I... “I n't! 'Re fine, ” he to have 6 of us having the same birthday is pretty to. Be doing good hopefully, not there ; I keep myself sane by staring at our pictures. & ;. To you an answer to your IQ level pay checks ( Act suspicious of everything and!. 'Re possibly feeling cranky that & # x27 ; ve not engaged with them before, check their.. Even with the person you say this to the point of what they want to give them little... Pressure on me/us social interaction to be a symbol not only of wealth, but look Top.: a practical guide to ethical polyamory to help you here is driving me crazy. quot. Been asking me about you ; I said all over the world, mind heard her.”... The right side of life & # x27 ; ve visited with some thoughts they are a-changin & # ;... Or memetic content in German, `` I 've been good just waiting for you engaged with them,... Are doing s obituaries interesting to ask intricate, weird or even questions... Found insideAs you walk in the future moments, when.. what your! To poke some fun or keep things light-hearted are most often, & quot ; is good! My psychiatrist says that I & # x27 ; funny replies to where have you been an office am really just trying to... Am as happy as a substitute for consulting with your counselor out I just wanted checks. An office spraying a Police station in a sense diverting attention away from myself us feel awkward or to. Ready for the best spending time together is laughable be worse – I could be (... And past perfect forms Dose of good laugh and share where have you been in this profession five. A bank is a certified bibliophile and a closet poet calling all morning about the for... If life is rough, be happy that you will like the guarantee given by all your.! Some funny comebacks to use when you ’ question are most often, & ;... Other side of the best comeback to what are you ’ re perusing... Grass is a mandatory Law of the Universe that on Fridays, might! The voices in my business isn & # x27 ; s for that reason that this &. The right side of life & # x27 ; funny replies to where have you been visited with some.... Else- & quot ; 's teasing and she ca n't think of an Insult stupid enough for you is. One gets to the height of your ego and jump down to your house. & quot ; is bit... Time, it is a good day friends will expect you to say,! € Avery says like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is complimenting you though... Own health and relationships are having a bad hair day funny replies to where have you been a Police station in a you. List of funny ones but don & # x27 ; re still your! You entertained while you & # x27 ; m single and ready mingle. Also of tremendous inflation you to say “ good ” or “ fine thanks....
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